by: F.R. Duplantier

Columnist Alan Shultz of the Carroll County Comet had an epiphany one Monday morning on the way to work, while parking his car in his "usual spot near the post office. The nice, uninterrupted expanse of smooth, dark asphalt roadway made it clear that the street had been repaved over the weekend," he observes, but "the straight yellow parking spot stripes had yet to be painted on the new pavement. Despite the absence of the yellow lines," Shultz reports, "the early morning crowd, who had already parked their cars, had done so in nice straight formation purely out of habit. The regular parkers in that area," he concludes, "had the training, experience, and ability to park in a straight line without the aid of the usual yellow stripes."

Shultz ponders the implications of that unprescribed but perfect parking. "Consider what would happen if the yellow parking lines were never painted back in that area," he hypothesizes. "As long as the regulars parked there, things would be pretty orderly," Shultz asserts confidently. "But newcomers to the area would likely be confused. Should they park diagonally or straight on? How far from the corner should the first car be? Soon things would be a mess," he predicts; "chaos would ensue."

Shultz wonders if "adult society is weary of painting straight lines for our youth to follow. I've been told that it is unrealistic to ask young men to remove their hats when they are inside a building," he confides. "I've learned that profanity on school buses in front of young, young children is a pervasive reality that cannot be tackled. News stories nationwide offer proof that adults are actively erasing the straight lines that formerly guided young people," Shultz continues. "If a school district objects to a nose pierce or purple hair or a tee shirt with profanity, the parents sue in the name of individual freedom. Standing up straight, speaking clearly, employing 'please' and 'thank you' liberally, learning to tie a tie and shake hands -- all these customs seem so corny and far off the mark," Shultz laments, "when manners and social conformity are no longer valued."

It's time for you Boomers to end your rebellion. The anti-establishment pose you cling to may have been appropriate for an arrogant adolescence, but, for goodness' sake, you're middle-aged now. You are the establishment. If you don't embrace adulthood pretty soon, you may miss it altogether. Your children, in turn, may miss it too, for they won't have had any model to follow.

Maybe you don't want to be the bully, the rulemaker, the disciplinarian. That's just too bad. Because it really doesn't matter what you want. What matters is what your children need. And what they need is a parent: someone to draw the lines for them and make sure they stay inside of them. That means laying down the law, and enforcing it. If you're not prepared to do that, you shouldn't be a parent.