That silly old song our parents used to sing turns out to have been right after all: Love and marriage do go together like a horse and carriage!
William Mattox of the Family Research Council is pleased to see "a growing number of young people who are openly challenging the central tenets of the sexual revolution. Convinced that free love wasn't exactly free and that safe sex isn't entirely safe, they are organizing campaigns like 'True Love Waits" in which young people sign pledge cards vowing to save sex until marriage."
In a recent speech to the World Congress of Families, Mattox lamented the failure of sex education programs to pay heed to "the longings of the human heart." The absence of that vital emotional perspective explains why such programs generally have "a difficult time convincing young people to deny themselves any sexual pleasure." This is most unfortunate, since sexual permissiveness, besides being immoral, usually leads to unhappiness. Mattox cited recent research indicating that "monogamous married couples are the most sexually satisfied people in America," and that "the couples most apt to succeed in marriage are those who bring the least amount of sexual baggage into the relationship."
Fortunately, Generation Xers appear to be a whole lot "hipper" than the hippies ever were -- at least when it comes to understanding the facts of life and the consequences of misbehavior. They're determined to face reality rather than escape from it. Mattox cited surveys showing that "young adults under the age of 30 are significantly more antidivorce than folks in the Baby Boom generation." Less selfish than the old peace-and-love crowd, the twenty-somethings of today recognize the need to compromise and to make sacrifices.
Still, they need guidance, and encouragement. Mattox urges the older generation to strive to "convince young people that the deeper longings of their heart can be fulfilled, that it is still possible to achieve the romantic ideal of transcendent intimacy within the context of a lifelong marriage." He recommends telling "inspiring, hard-bitten love stories that celebrate enduring commitment," in order to dispel the "common misconception that couples who have successful marriages do not face any of the conflicts and struggles that other couples face." Few marriages are trouble-free; they succeed when couples are "willing and able to work through difficulties."
This is not just a job for professionals. "Telling marital success stories is something journalists, novelists, artists, public speakers, filmmakers, poets, preachers, television producers, and songwriters need to do," says William Mattox. Conceding that "young people can certainly benefit from learning about the triumphs of married couples they do not know," Mattox insists, nevertheless, that "special attention needs to be given to encouraging storytelling on a more personal level."
That means plain, ordinary folk telling in their own words the secrets of their success. Starting today! If you're a "veteran" of a lasting marriage, why not tell your story? To your children, to their friends, to any young person who will listen. Someday, they may thank you for it.
